Flicker and Glow

She fascinates me, this Slavic beauty. What draws me into her landlocked embrace? The cities, towns and villages that she adorns like jewellery? The peaks and crevasses of her body, so much more free of the multitude of random, misplaced scars and tattoos that seem to endlessly encompass her northern sister? The combination of the two, more likely than not. Czech was my introduction to Central Europe; my first real lover after Scotland and I had broken up in a gnashing of teeth and spitting of obscenities. We two were not a perfect match at first, but what young man on the rebound treats the replacement well or appreciates the kindness he is shown? I was greedy and wanted “to sit upon two chairs”, as someone once told me. I did not appreciate everything she had to offer, and I abused the compassion she tried her hardest to show me. I was young … stupid … fickle … so I left her for another, always wanting and expecting and taking more. And I did receive more … in a completely different way than I planned for … and in a way that was so much more fulfilling than I could have ever contemplated. Whist I was entwined within the clutches of my magnificent white eagle, a lingering thought would still occasionally steal me away across the border like an unfaithful husband to bed my Czech mistress once, maybe twice a year. I did not shroud or attempt to hide my infidelity, and I would even be willingly permitted to meet our neighbour. With mutual trust in the strength of our commitment, I would always happily return home to the bed I had made … but her scent would be upon my flesh and her taste would linger upon my tongue. Now, that once blazing Polish fire dwindles and has removed her warmth from my bones, and as we attempt to amicably sift through the ashes and come to terms with the seeds we had sown together, I am coming to discover that the kind, gentle ember I left in the hearth ages past is still glowing and is more warm and beautiful than I remembered … and my feelings for her run much deeper than I once thought. I only pray she still feels as deeply for me and finds me as attractive and irresistible as I do her.